Oh that I could wake up in the morning and be back in rural West Tennessee… to drop into The Humboldt Grill and have breakfast with my old friends in the Men’s Prayer Group who meet there … or to drop into Joe Muggs in Jackson for a cup of Midnight Bold with a company colleague who has impacted my life greatly… or sit and laugh (or cry) with my pastor as we commiserated over growth issues within the church that we both love and care for. Those are good thoughts… thoughts of comfort from the past. I suppose it is natural for anyone who is so far away from home to dwell on these things occasionally. I am also reminded of a comment that I heard from a company fellow in Virginia in the summer of 2009… “If you can’t blame this on God (the reason that you came to the field), you will never make it. The longer I am away, the more that his words ring true. There are many thoughts which creep into your head that make you homesick… but if you have confidence that “this” is God’s fault, you just keep going.
Ok, ok… maybe you think that I am seeking some pity or want attention… nope. I am just trying to deal with the reality of the day. Sometimes it is good to write things down and think through your circumstances. Well, it works for me anyway! What if you woke up this morning a half world away from everything you loved and knew and had NO ONE who you could go and sit with to pour out your heart to? Before you ask, yes… Dawn and I do talk! We are living this together and pray through this together… however, I am making reference to having a third party who can be objective and listen / respond to your conversation. At the moment, I do not have that person in a physical sense. Occasionally I do get the opportunity to do this virtually via Skype with a couple of good friends. For that I am thankful but it is just different than being able to do it live and in person.
So, why am I here? It is God’s fault. He sent me here and even if I do not understand all of the “why,” it will have to be enough to keep me here just to know that He has a plan for me which is more important than the plan which I might have for myself. Don’t get to up tight about my use of the word “fault” as I mean no disrespect at all and He knows that. I am not the first and I will not be the last to hear His voice and be sent off on an uncertain path of service. In my humanity, I just hope that I can be up to the challenges which are still ahead… and be able to impact many people for the sake of the Gospel. Amen. Thanks again for reading my ramblings and thank you for your continued prayers.
